Authenticity: Its meaning & benefit

Authenticity may hurt you, but major parts of it are accountability and self-knowledge, both of which are vital to personal, individual healing. And contributing to healing beyond your own universe, too.

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

Paraphrased from Aristotle, this concept has been key, above all others, to my personal development. For me, it is not just about identifying what you do and why you do it, but also what you can do, as an individual, to strengthen positive behaviors and reduce negative ones. Self-knowledge is not armor; in fact, it is far from it. It is not a shield or a helmet. It is calcium to edify our bones. Its purpose is to grow and strengthen in that growth; to identify and take accountability; to have compassion and respect for ourselves and not enable our vices in pursuit of doing so. True self-knowledge is the first tool in countering stunting and regression. I read an article once claiming that “know thyself” is a dangerous maxim because it indicates some kind of permanence, or “being stuck.” The article implied that this could happen because if a person has identified their values and circumstances change that contend with those values, that person will refuse to adapt because it “feels unlike” their interpretation of themselves. That is not self-knowledge. Our values, circumstances, feelings, and ideas are impermanent. As human beings, we are the most adaptable animal in the world. We are nearly limitless and have evolved for ultimate survival, even in our clawless, fangless bodies. It then makes sense that the human mind, the most significant key to our advancement, is also the most significant to our downfall.

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“Freedom is what you do with what has been done to you.” – Jean-Paul Sartre

I haven’t been hiding that the disease I am trying to manage right now (endometriosis) is both horrific and all-consuming and that I feel that is in fact quite literally killing me. I have had near-death experiences before and in April I did die for a time, or at least was closest to death than I ever was, being in a coma and consciously having to make the choice to stay alive. I didn’t choose to live because I felt I had to tie up loose ends. I chose to live because amindst all of the darkness, I was able to find hope that I could get effective treatment and live a life I wanted to live. That treatment is still far away even with the help I’ve been receiving and am very grateful for, and I may not get it before my insides are scarred beyond functioning or I develop serious heart problems[1] or cancer.[2] (That being said, I know I am being extremely annoying about this, but I am literally pleading for my life and trying to get the information out there to save others’ as well.) There are a lot of things I want to do and can’t, but I’m focused right now (and trying to stay focused) on what I can do.
Blogging has been helping me deal with this along with other issues, and I intend to start vlogging about endometriosis and my case specifically very soon. I will not let my suffering be meaningless when I have learned and experienced so much that can contribute to others getting help sooner.
Part of living the life I want to live is becoming who I want to be. I have many limitations right now of many varieties, but I can choose to continue working on myself, regardless of how little time I may or may not have left. Truthfully, I think that is the most honest motivation for this blog in particular. Helping others and advocacy are both integral to my soul’s survival, a huge part of who I want to become, and while this blog does not have a big reach and has probably not bettered anyone else’s life, it has helped me greatly, I have learned better to self-advocate, and so my entries here have bettered my own life, all of which have helped equip me with better skills and ability to reach out to others more effectively elsewhere.
Recovery is not a destination but a process.
This is, indeed, truly a recovery blog for me.
That being said, there are things I talk about here that I feel I need myself to embrace more fully. We are all hypocrites in one aspect of our lives or another, whether always or in certain instances, but hypocrisy is something I have been working very hard for years to get out of my system. I know it will never be 100% out. I am human. I am fallible. But I am human, which means I also have a great capacity to change and take charge of my own behavior.

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